Well it's that time of year again. Christmas - that sad excuse for a holiday that used to mean something, but is now a sickening orgy of consumerism has passed and soon the New Year will be upon us.
Sometimes I think about resolutions I will try my best to honor, like frequenting more dive bars or bingeing on donuts or finally getting up the nerve to sexually harass a man in public. Though I'm not too sure about that last one. The dudes might enjoy it too much.
Other times, like this year, I think about all the crap society should vow to purge itself of. For example, it would be so wonderful if corporate culture could be seen as passe, once and for all. How refreshing it would be to hear people in cafes chatting and saying things like: "Corporate culture? Yeah! That was pretty disgusting!" It would give me such a warm feeling inside.
And car culture. I still hate it, even though I am now driving. As a matter of fact, I hate it even more now. Maybe some of you have seen romantic moments in an automobile. Or perhaps you even feel so affectionate towards your vehicle as to actually name it. Sorry, I can't identify on that one. Living in the US at least, it's just too rough if you ever plan on being a pedestrian for more than ten minutes. And to me, that has all kinds of nasty side effects, from making folk more anti-social, to aggravating the obesity crisis. My estimate is that Americans have a walking deficit of 8,000 steps a day thanks to car culture. That's not good news. I've walked 140,000 steps this month, and that has only burned off two pounds, a pound consisting of 3500 calories. On average, if you only walk 2000 steps a day or less, chances are those tasty burgers you like so much will end up living permanently on your hips. And then while in traffic, you'll have even more of an excuse to rage at other drivers. See what I mean about the negative effects? Fortunately, Google will soon solve this problem for us, by building self-driving cars. Fantastic! Then we will all get to sip milkshakes while having our lazy butts carted around... you gotta love the madness of modern drivelization.
I'm sure I will think of other things I'd like to see changed. Of course, in the meantime, the solution is to change myself first. So of course, I will continue spitting on corporate culture. I plan to get even better at that. I will also keep up with the walks, in spite of the fact that Americans seem to think I am a bum for insisting on taking such long hikes. Oh hell America! What do you want me to do instead then? Get one of those awful Segways? No thanks. I saw how the inventor of those ended up. It wasn't pretty. Kind of hilarious though if you know the story.
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